Trivial.

So.

I'm sitting here in front of the PC and unable to do anything because I'm unable to connect as my mom is currently talking with my sister. I think she had a fight with that sort-of-friend of hers again. Yesterday, she and my mom fought over something really trivial. I mean, it's trivial to me. My sister failed an OB exam, and she was angry yesterday because of that. As she had claimed (or so mom said) "she doesn't fail exams" with a definite emphasis on the she. Tch. So trivial. If I had been the one who failed the exam, it wouldn't have been a big deal. I mean, sure, I do believe I've never failed an exam even just once in my life. Well, alright, I did--once. But hey, that doesn't count at all because no one passed that exam at all.

So anyway, if it had been me, even though I've never really failed even once (the lowest I ever got on an exam that counted was 2.75 and even then it didn't matter because most everyone else failed) on an exam, if I had failed I would never get angry like that. Moreover, I would never ever -ever- vent out my anger on someone else--especially someone who had absolutely nothing to do with my frustration and and most especially someone who doesn't even have an inkling as to why I'm angry at all.

I mean, granted, if it -had- been me--I wouldn't have gotten angry at all. But then again, when have I ever gotten angry at anything so trivial? If I got angry, it's gotta be something major, because, in all truth and honesty, I don't get angry much. Irritated, yes, lots of times. Annoyed, plenty of times. P'od, hell, yeah. But majorly, honest-to-goodness angry...? Well...I don't remember, but it might have been senior year in high school. I think I might have thrown some of my things around and hit a couple of people in my house.

Anyway, the point is, I don't get angry over trivial things. I strongly suggest my sister do the same thing. But then again, that would be...like...saying she should be more like me. Or she should -be- like me. And that would be way out of line.

I think it would help her out a lot if she tries to lie low a bit more when these things happen. Well, she knows she's very vocal and I think she likes being vocal because she thinks it's the best kind of person to be, but really, some things are better off left unsaid. Saying what's on your mind is good, but only to a certain extent. She has a tendency to...say things upon impulse, without thinking, and a lot of times they come out doing what they shouldn't--cause other people pain. More importantly, cause -her- pain, because afterwards she regrets what she has said but the thing is, what's said and done can never be undone, even if you say sorry. If whatever was said was especially painful, even if you apologize to the person and he or she has forgiven you, fact remains that IT HAD BEEN SAID. It might have been forgotten on a superficial level, but the memory will stay in that person's heart of hearts for very long, perhaps even to the point of forever.

Ah well. What can I say? I'm not her. She's not me.

I wonder how she's gonna deal with this. Personally, I think she would be much better off quitting medical school and getting a good job and paycheck. Maybe then she would be easier to live with.

Ah, what am I thinking...? Hm. Maybe I just miss her.

And I miss my Gluhen DVD.>_<

Iroirona mono

Ichi: Thoughts

I wonder why DBP's always offline. I was supposed to get some money today, but I was unable to because, as I just said, DBP
was offline. That sucks. I was hoping I could get a couple of bucks to make up for the almost two thousand I spent last Sunday (I bought 1 DVD and 2 CDs; purchases were worth it, but HELL, I really wish I they were less expensive).

I want more DVDs. That PlayStation 2 is some piece of work. It only plays for Region 1, but for what it's worth, it DID play my Gluhen DVD quite well (it's an all-region DVD, is why). Aya looks good on TV, with long braids and all. Omi looks good on TV--being rich suits him well^_^. Ken looks good on TV (doesn't he always? Even if he's got that psycho crap going on). Sena's kinda cute. Rex is pretty (but then again, all the Persia secretaries are always pretty). Yohji looks like crap, as always.

Some new stuff sounds good. I want new stuff.

I really hate the fact that since election time is just a stone's throw away, politicians left and right are digging excavations on each and every street. More traffic, more pain, more hell. And plus, yesterday, we weren't able to go where we were supposed to go because the place closed down and the company moved due to the construction. Oh, to hell with constructions. TO hell with politicians. Screw them all to hell, the pricks.

Aya's really scary in Gluhen. I mean, he smiles, for crying out loud! If that's not scary, I don't know what is. The braids are cool, but that...that...SMILE...really CREEPS me out...

Chobits is really fun. Chii is very cute. Hideki's so funny. Sumomo's really cute too! I like it. I might buy it...

I love Hao. I love Hao. Enough said.

Those themes really have a tendency to grow on you. First, there was For Fruits Basket, then there was Ordinary Sunday, now it's Let Me Be With You...hah. Weird. Hen da yo...

Ni: Wish List additions

Chobits Full Series DVD Set
Chobits Manga
Shaman King the Movie DVD
Yami no Matsuei Full Manga Collection

San: Kowai da yo

Thursday last week, after I finished eating lunch, I went through the back screen door of my house to wash the dishes. Now our screen door locks from the INSIDE, so naturally even if I had gone out, I WOULD be able to go back in no prob, right?

Well, that's what I thought. Right after I finished the dishes, I went to the screen door and tried to open it so I could come back inside the house...but it HAD BEEN LOCKED FROM THE INSIDE!

The scary part of this story is that I WAS THE ONLY ONE HOME THAT DAY. I mean it. No one was there inside the house. I was the only one there, and I was OUTSIDE.

Now, if I was OUTSIDE, and the screen door can only be locked from the INSIDE, and I was the only one home, then HOW the HELL did it get LOCKED?

Well, I don't know either, but the only explanantion I can give is that: someone...or someTHING was making fun of me.

But I prefer to think of it logically: it must have been jiggled hard that it closed on its own. Not that plausible, but it's a cause I prefer to believe.

So how did I get out? The only way I knew how: I DESTROYED the screen door. If I hadn't done that, I would have been stuck there for about FIVE hours. Our housekeeper only came by when it was like five-thirty or something. I would have gone insane.

Oh, hell.

Yon: Argh!

Why does he always do that? Make unwanted comments? It's annoying! I really hate my dad that way. He always seems to be interested in the things that I'm doing at the times that he shouldn't. I mean, when it's graduation or school or something like that he acts like he doesn't care. But like when I'm doing personal stuff (like writing and reading in the confuser or whatever) he tries to annoy me by trying to look over my shoulder and acting so interested over what I'm doing. I mean, it's darn annoying! Why doesn't he just GET A LIFE for crying out loud? I hate what he's doing! And he does it to my sister and me! I hate it, hate it, hate it!

Go: Stuck

In "Losing and Coming Home," Hisashi's stuck with a hard-on and Ayumi's holding on to the hard-on. They're kissing, naked, but unable to get release. And it's all my fault. I can't seem to get inspiration for the rest of the sex part. Funny, it's always been so DARN easy for the others, but this is the first time I'm writing a sex scene for the two of them. I want it to be perfect and I can't seem to get it. I might have lost the inspiration. Hope it comes back to me soon.

In AFGM Chapter 5, Omi's stuck in the part where he's musing about his latest dream. I haven't developed that yet. I seem to have forgotten what was supposed to happen. It had been there in my mind last week, but it seems to have fallen asleep again.

Roku: Nemui da yo

I'm sleepy. I hate getting up early, but tomorrow, I'll have to. It's for a fun cause, anyway. HYD is fun. I wanna eat at Kabuki again. That darn iced tea makes me woozy.^_^ I wanna drink five glasses of it again! Oh yeah, and I need money......there we go, I just yawned. Gotta get some sleep.

Random Crap from Hell

Subject: What the hell
WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!? I check back after 36+ hours and my site's still not open?!?!?!? Who the f**k checks my site that much? I really need to move. I wanna update and I CAN'T EVEN UPDATE! What in the world is happening?

Subject: Kanji hell
Ahh, forget it. What's the point? Tch. I need to study like still about 90+ Kanjis TONIGHT. And I haven't even started. I have an exam tomorrow. F**k it. F**k it!. F**k it, f**k it, F**K IT!!!

Subject: Okane hell
I wish I had money so I can buy these things. As of ima I can only buy 1-2 of the items here. Ahh, the sadness of the poor in okane...kanashimi da yo....;_;

Subject: Takai hell
I want the following. It's possible for me to get them, but not ALL at the same time.:_: UHAAAA!!!!!!!!!! I want them, want them, WANT THEM!!!

A Visa or a Mastercard that can buy all these things
Angel Sanctuary
Ayashi No Ceres Manga (Main Story)
Ayashi No Ceres Novels
CCS Art Book Collection (All 6 or 7 of them; Php2500each)
.hack//sign (all 26 eps + the OST)
.hack//sign Legend of the Twilight
FAKE (ALL the episodes)
Fruits Basket Manga 4-11+ (Php390 each)
Fruits Basket OST (Php450)
Fruits Basket Season 2 DVD Set (I'm not sure how much this costs)
Fushigi Yuugi Novel Ryuusui Den
Fushigi Yuugi Novel Yukiyasha Den
Fushigi Yuugi Novel Suzaku-hi Den
Fushigi Yuugi Novel Genrou Den
Fushigi Yuugi Novel (Forgot the title) Chichiri's Novel
Fushigi Yuugi Novel (Forgot the title also) Nakago's Novel
Gensomaden Saiyuki Character Vocal Collection (Php450)
Gensomaden Saiyuki Gaiden Manga
Gravitation Manga (all) (Php390 each)
Hana Yori Dango OST (Or the MP3 of Ordinary Sunday, if I can't get the OST)
Heroic Legend of Arslan (ALL)
Kaze to Ki no Uta Manga (ALL of it; probably hard to find, this is OLD)
Kingdom Hearts 2
Kizuna
Koko wa Greenwood
Please Save My Earth Manga
Shaman King DVD Set (Not sure either)
Shaman King Nintendo Game (and a Nintendo Cube)
Shaman King OST and Character Vocal Collection (Php450 each)
The Biggest Most Complete Book of Kanji Ever (is there a book with this title?)
The final four episodes of Dragon Ball Z (not sure either)
The Random House E-J, J-E Dictionary (Php500+)
Wei? Kreuz GlUhen DVD Set ($20/Php850 each)
Wei? Kreuz GlUhen OST (Php450)
Wei? Kreuz Gakken Mook 2 + All That Wei? + Ja! Wei? + Ja! Schwarz
Wei? Kreuz Schwarz Characters Vocal Collection
Wei? Kreuz Manga An Assassin and White Shaman
Xenosaga Episode 2: Second Miltia (There's no title for this yet)

Subject: Yume hell
I want the following. It is not possible for me to get them AT ALL, except maybe in my dreams. And when I wake up in the morning, I dream. As I walk the world and get on with my life, I dream. In other words, as I live, I dream. Even as I write this, I dream. Which means that for me, real life is just about congruent or equivalent or actually equal to my dreams. Or is onaji as my dreams. Genuinely onaji. Honto no honto maji de honto ni onaji.

Omi's new trenchcoat and Wei? costume
Omi's new everyday human costume (elegant-looking mansion wear, baby! makes me wanna tear them off of him)
Omi's new gun (the Browning Baby)
Omi's Tsukiyono Castle (no wait...that's already mine)
NOT Omi's Grandpa
Omi (in Wei? Kreuz GlUhen...but then again, he's already mine)
Ken (in Wei? Kreuz GlUhen)
Aya's long dark-red braid and his eyeglasses (NOT Aya)
NOT Yohji in Wei? Kreuz GlUhen (at ALL)
Brad Crawford in GlUhen
Tsukasa Domyoji's Mansion, Company, Estate, Pants, what's under the pants...everything, I guess
Tsukasa Domyoji the normal obnoxious guy
Tsukasa Domyoji the schizo
Rui Hanazawa
Thomas (in Hana Yori; for a one-night stand)
Akira Mimasaka (with his hair tied back)
Sojiro Nishikado (w/ or w/o the hat)
Tsukasa Domyoji with his hair straight down, Shiso Mikage style
Tsukasa Domyoji with his hair straight down, Hisashi Mitsui style
Tsukasa Domyoji with a beret
Tsukasa Domyoji and Syaoran Li's weird jacket collection (they have the same taste in jackets...)
Syaoran Li and everything he has...no wait, I don't have to ask for that, he's mine already:)
Hisashi Mitsui and his ball...erm, basketball^_^ (alright, alright, and the other ball as well)
Yoh Asakura (shared with Anna; I don't really mind)
Faust VIII (on a one-night stand)
Hao Asakura (this ONE'S MINE and MINE ALONE)
Gaignun Kukai Jr. aka Rubedo the U.R.T.V.
Shiso Mikage
Ean Shu
Emperor Boushin of Konan
Eiri Yuki or Uesugi Eiri and his uhm...cigar collection^_^;;;
The Sohma boys and men (Yuki, Kyou, Shigure, Hatori, Ayame, Haru, Akito, Momiji, and Hiro) and everything they own

Hahh....dreaming I was dreaming...Oh well. This is life, this is me, sue me.

Subject: LSS hell
Stepping out...fuutsu na nichiyoubi ni...stepping out...chiisana try, try, try, make my day!^_^ Ahh, that song makes me *smile* so much! I LOVE it! And I also love the dance that comes with it! I wanna dance it!!! LET'S DANCE!!! Stepping out....

Subject: Choices hell
Should I or should I not buy the GlUhen DVD? Hmm...its like $20 but here it's like only Php850 for 8 episodes....kinda cheap for an original DVD I should think...

Maybe I'll buy it.

There we go. I'm buying it.

Oh, my poor, poor bank account....;;;;;;;;;_;;;;;;;;

Oh, hell.

Tch.
I hate my site server. I hate it, hate it, HATE IT. I hate the world for not giving me enough money to get what I need. I hate the fact that I have to work just to get money. I hate NOT having money. F**K the damn economic inflation. F**K greedy investors. F**K hoarders. F**K rich people. F**K them, F**K them, F**K THEM! It's all their fault why I don't have much bandwith and webspace for my free-serving site! ALL THEIR DAMN F**KING FAULT! DAI KIRAI DA YO! I HATE THEM ALL! I HATE THEM! I.HATE.THEM!

Now, instead of being able to update my site and finish my blog, I'm sitting here in front of this piece of confuser writing my heart out on an offline notepad. But I'm NOT blaming YOU, dear notepad. The number of times you've helped me out...the number of uses you have...the economy of using you...you've been a really excellent piece of work. In fact, I love you more than I love MS WORD. I actually f**king hate, HATE MS WORD! It's such a bother. So many functions, so much bother. Why can't everyone just keep it simple? Why? Doushite?!?!? NAZE?!?!? Why can't the world be as simple as NOTEPAD?!?!?

I really love making webpages. I really do. I wanna learn more about web-designing. I wanna learn more so that I can use it to earn my living. It's the most funnest (grammar technocrats, bite me) thing to do in the world. It really is. I love making those character stuff too. I think I'd have more fun writing the story summaries. I WANNA BUY GLUHEN!!! Damn it, that crap of a store in the mall sells it in DVD for EIGHT HUNDRED FIFTY F**KING BUCKS!!! And WHAT LANGUAGE IS IT IN? DAMN F**KING CHINESE!!! I have nothing against the Chinese, but damn, WHY CAN'T THOSE THINGS COME OUT IN ENGLISH?!?!?!? English subtitle, that is. But if it IS in Japanese, maybe I will be able to understand it....

But hot damn, EIGHT HUNDRED FIFTY F**KING BUCKS....that's, like, about thirty pirated CDs...but if it's Wei?, it should be worth it, right...?

Hmm...maybe I'll buy it. But DARN IT, it's gonna dent a really huge ganzots of a hole in my pocket...850 bucks...what the HELL...argghhh.......

DAMMIT, it's Thursday again! And I haven't even done much! AHHH, even stupid f**king TIME is doing an inflation.....WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO THIS WORLD??? WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO???

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME????

Tch. I really don't know.

Yesterday's News
It's raining very hard, it's past 1:30 and I'm still awake, waiting for Oversoul to hurry up finishing downloading. It's making me a bit impatient. I wanted to update my site but stupid fucking tripod says I've exceeded my bandwidth. Apparently, bandwidth's very expensive these days. Gee, I wonder how much bandwidth they give for free now? I think it's somewhere probably along the lines of 1 gig. That's a little bit small. Or maybe I'm getting a lot more hits for my site lately. Maybe Weiss is becoming famous. Well, whatever. This day isn't so bad, but I've had better days.

I really hate my mother. Right now, I honestly do. I don't know how many strikes she's had with me today, but it's more than I can actually remember, and it's quite a record for one whole day. I really don't usually get annoyed, but by heck, I can only stand so much. I mean, earlier, those sarcastic comments. I never meant anything by what I said, just trying to give her straight facts, and darn it if she just threw my words into my face and twisted it and turned it all to make it seem like I meant to say something bad. I didn't.

Then at dinner. I was asking for her to cook me some vegetables next time. She said you're grown up, you can do it yourself. I, although grudgingly, admit that she is right on that matter. Then I ask her if she can cut up the stuff for me. She said I can do it myself. I didn't complain. I don't know if she meant anything. By ordinary standards, her words themselves had not meant anything bad, but by heck, her tone of voice when she said them sure did. I don't know. I'm just really a calm person. I walked out right then and there to avoid getting myself annoyed. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure what I had actually done next. I think I might have retreated to the bathroom. That's what I usually do.

I'm wondering a bit about something, though. I imagine, if it had been my sister there in those situations, I don't think she would have been as merciful as I had been. And for I don't know how many times in my life lately, if that had happened, I would have given my sister a lot of credit and a silent applause for whatever she would have done. I suppose she would have given a couple of sarcastic remarks of her own, probably some shouting for good measure. Whatever she would have done, I would have commended it all. I really would have. I wish I could do the same, but -NO-. I had to be this freaking coward who couldn't stand her ground. I couldn't say what I feel. In those kinds of situations, saying what I feel would have been equal to trouble. I didn't want trouble. I usually sulked on my own, my emotions hidden by my face. I think that happens when I'm like on the second part of my anger. I cannot remember the last time I got really very angry. I think it was senior year, highschool. I had thrown stuff, I think. The first part of my anger may be the superficial anger, this is the one that I show on my face. I'm not really sure. I don't know much about anger. It's not my best friend, not unlike it is with my dad, my sister, and, sooner or later if she doesn't watch it, with my mom.

Ah, well. Where was I? Oh, yes. Then I got up to our room (my sister's and mine) to fiddle with the confuser. I wanted to surf the net for some Yoh stuff and some HYD stuff. Before I did so, I took off my bed's sheet so I can lie on my bed immediately after my computer session (about 2-2:30 am or so). Darn it if, in about ten minutes, she was there, commenting about the niceness of the weather in the room, and when she saw that I was ignoring her, commenting (sarcastically) that I did not know how to fold my bed sheet. Like she was really surprised about that! I'VE NEVER FOLDED MY BEDSHEET. I wouldn't even change the sheets if I couldn't help it. Recently, I've been making my sheets messier just to annoy her.

Just tonight, though, I got really irritated. I mean, REALLY. It's like she was giving that comment so I would answer and then she'd get another excuse to be angry at me. Heh. I DID NOT give her the dignity of an answer. I think she got a little pissed or something. She asked me something about the phone, I gave a 2-syllable answer. Then she left. I was triumphant. Hah. Go me!

I wonder what's happening to her. She's like in Post-menopausal stage, and she's not even there anymore. She's WAAYYY away from PMS. She's too old to get that anymore.

Or maybe it's me. Am I getting too sarcastic and cocky and snide for my own good? Maybe, but I kinda like it. I'm learning to express my feelings more. Fanfics with lots of swearing has really helped me.

Hmm. I wonder....

I still have a lot of web stuff and stories to continue (I'm not gonna say "finish" coz that's not gonna happen to any of my stories anytime soon). Gotta do them.

Japanese is fun, but it hurts my head.

It's 2 am. I'm downloading northern lights now and it's about finished. Till tomorrow. Or tonight.