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Sue Me
Wednesday, 7 April 2004
Passion.

Elections are coming up in the country next month, and a lot of these Politicians, I think, need to see The Passion of The Christ before they even think about doing what the hell it is politicians do. This movie will either have a positive or negative effect on them. On the positive side, it might be able to convince them that they'll never live up to Christ and the sacrifices he made for his people and thus, give up their vigil and drop out from the running entirely because they'd realize that the Filipino people are beyond saving if our only option is to let them sit on those thrones of power and allow them to exploit those thirteen pieces of silver Judas tried to return to Caiphas but most predictably failed to do. Fact is, he could have returned that money, but he could never take back what he did to Christ. And yes, the only way he could ever atone is through death.

If you asked me, if a lot of the Filipinos suddenly lose their minds and pull a Judas (the Judas repenting, not the Judas selling off Christ to the Pharisees), I think the country would probably lose around...seventy percent of its population, thus eliminating overpopulation and a lot of other third world problems besides. Not that it would ever happen, of course. Obviously, people find it easier to pull a Judas without repentance and the rewards overshadow the stirrings in the conscience that must surely be there.

I guess, if given a choice between Peter and Judas, I'd rather pull a Peter, but I'd still prefer to pull a John; at least he was loyal through and through.

John the Beloved...hm. I'm really glad that I've studied most of the New Testament of the Bible during elementary school. I think if I had taken a course in Theology during college and someone told me that Jesus loved John the Beloved more than any of his disciples, I think I might have laughed out loud. I mean, think of all the decidedly OBVIOUS connotations of it. Jesus and John...wow. I knew the Bible was into homosexuality. First, there was Jonathan and David...now, Jesus and John...and later on in the Acts, Paul and Barnabas. Wow. Yaoi is so prevalent, even during the early Christ times.

Of course, that doesn't mean I've lost my respect for Jesus Christ. Truth be told, I respect him a lot more now; he's actually very open and free with his own sexuality. Now there's a thought to ponder about, closet kings and queens.

So anyway, on the negative side...politicians might see the movie and suddenly idolize Caiphas and those other Pharisees. This is more likely to happen, I guess. More sinners in the running, methinks. Anyhow, seeing those Priests made me realize that, no matter what timeline you happen to be in, things remain the same. There are those people who conform to whatever the higher power says, never mind what they think and feel is right. There are those people who go by what they think and feel is right--and are therefore persecuted. And there are those PRIESTS who ALWAYS dictate what people should and should not do and who should and should not be punished and what is right and wrong...and they're ALWAYS right. And then, there are those like Pilate who remain on the middle lane of things, either to keep the peace, keep their positions, or keep their own heads.^^ I'm on Pilate's side, mostly because it's the safest, but really, sometimes it's even more sinful to force ourselves to be mute, blind and deaf. Indifference and apathy could be two of the worst unspoken crimes, because here, we deny justice to those who desperately need it. We allow murderers to walk free.

But it's still more scary to keep our consciences clear and die for it...

We can never really win. There's always a blind side to every option. Life is a double-edged sword.

If there were more people like Jesus Christ, the world would be a better, much safer place to live in. But that can never happen.

Do I sound like I'm losing hope? Maybe. But isn't this logical (though at the same time hopeless) as well? I think it is.

Current Mood: Reflective (Passion makes me think)
Current Music: Sana'y Wala Nang Wakas by Sharon Cuneta (I told you I've been watching too much soap)

P.S. I just remembered one little Quiz I took on What Were You Like In High School and I was...a GEEK. Yeah.^_^ I'm very proud of it. I'm not your typical geek, but hey, if reading up on a lot of stuff and studying and liking Algebra, Biology, Chemistry, Literature and History falls under this category, well, hey...I'm a proud little highschool geek. At least I wasn't one of the bully crowds.^_~

Or maybe I -was- both a geek -and- a bully...is that possible?

Posted by apple-chan at 1:06 AM JST
Holy Week.
It


It's the sixth of April, 10:13 pm, and the only reason this entry is titled as you can see is because...I couldn't think of anything else.^^;;; Blame me for the lack of originality; it never fails.

I'll be posting this the day after, so obviously you'll be seeing this day after I've written it, which basically means what I'm feeling here isn't the same as what I'm feeling as you read this. But that's negligible.

Anyway, since you're so keen on checking out the details of what's been going on in my sick sad life, let me share to you the gory details of what I've been up to last...uh, week. Sad little future MA Student Apple's sick sorry twisted excuse for something to do, to say that she's not been hibernating and totally losing her mind doing nothing but staring off into space, watching Mexican telenovelas, and noontime variety shows (and the occassional Anime--I know, I spelled occassion wrong again. Sue me; I'm not perfect). Such an insult to the intelligence, really. If I ever did something fruitful, I guess it was reading Alexandre Dumas and that nice nice Man In the Iron Mask book, and stimulating my brain with the nice allegorical words and pieces of French history which I love (as much as I now love Phillippe). At least I'm not anymore stuck with How to Build a Better Vocabulary though that, quite frankly, was a nice read.

So...I was actually talking about the entries I've written last week which for whatever reasons I myself don't understand I didn't post at the same time that I wrote them. For the sake of sanity, I've decided not to post it all as an entry; but as a part of this, since what I've written consists only of over-expounded meaningless rants of my meanness, something which doesn't happen very often but when it does happen, can be very nauseating to tolerate. So yeah, if you wanna read up on that (as well as my godforsaken excuse of a review for Matrix Revolutions), click here:

The boring and gory details.

I'm writing this not in a fit of meaningless meanness, but annoyance. Lately, I've started to become really irrepressively annoyed and irritated at this one close friend. I wish I could say that it wasn't her, but me; but like I said, this is not a pointless fit I'm having here. For once, the problem is HER. Honestly, I didn't think it would ever come to this...but lately, the way she's been standing me up and making me wait for so long each and every time we see each other is getting on my nerves. I'm normally a patient and nice and kind person, but you know, I can only take so much. The thing is, I always say it's ok even though it's not because I really don't have the heart to be mean to her. She's a nice person through and through, but she can be a bit...no, wait...a LOT irresponsible with many things...friends included.

Sometimes, it's alright to be a little late when you're meeting your friends, but really, when it comes to a point that you get late EVERY single DAMN time, that's just plain being rude, and taking advantage of your friend's kindness. And that's what she does to me...what she has been doing to me (and to all of us, come to think of it) all my life. I can count the very few times when she's come really, really early, but you know, I don't think I can even consider them because well...it's usually those few times when -she's- the one asking us a favor, and she really absolutely positively needed to come early. So those few times I can blame on selfishness. Other times...*sighs wearily* I've really had enough.

And then...there's that other thing. The two of us, we've decided to apply on that MA together, and all that time a couple of weeks ago, I've been waiting for her even though I've already completed all the requirements for my own application. And then suddenly, after about a week or so, she tells me that I can go ahead with my application without her because she's suddenly...SUDDENLY become preoccupied with something else. I really wish she could have told me about it sooner, because really, I would have appreciated KNOWING. But well, she didn't...and that was what hurt. The only thing she can tell me was SORRY...and although I really felt so pissed I just took it all in stride. I'm not known for having a short temper, nor am I known for my incredibly...shall we say...unforgiving nature, but like I've said, one can only take so much. And I've taken far more than I can handle without getting pissed, quite frankly.

I know I'm not her best friend (and frankly, I don't know how my other friend, HER best friend, can stand her sometimes), and I know if she was going to save one person from a sinking ship it wouldn't be me, but you know what...the only thing I wish right now is for her to even...respect me a little, or at least show me that I was even the tiniest bit important to her, because a lot of the times, I don't even feel it. I feel like she's the one who's been getting all this help, and all this love from me, yet she just takes advantage of all of them. I feel like...if I ever ask her for help she's always going to be busy and prioritize other things before she prioritizes me. It's unfair, I know, since I'm not really her best friend, but...for once, I wish she'd just show just the least bit tiny amount of gratitude.

I've helped her get rid of that one boy who's been the bane of her existence for one whole year, and when he finally left her for GOOD (I hope), I can't help but think of all her past boyfriends...especially that first one. How she prioritized him over me once by choosing to go with him instead of attending my 18th Birthday party which only happens once a year as compared to the time she spends with her boyfriend (every week). It hurt me a bit, that time, because like heck, she knew she could see him any freaking time she wanted and me ONLY about one or twice a year, but well...she chose him over me. I didn't hold that against her, because I understood...I THOUGHT I understood--he was her first boyfriend, and she loved him SO much then. They were in their early stages then, so...I forgave, even though there was nothing to forgive, because really, my birthday wasn't a big deal; HE was more important.

I'm being bitter, I know...but I can't help it.

The reason why she broke up with that guy (for the record, he's 9 years older than us...around 31 now^^;;;) was because he made her choose between her best friend and him. That time, our friend (her best friend) was sick, and he was being a brat by giving her an ultimatum, and since they were already on the rocks, she chose our friend instead of him. I don't know if it was because their relationship was already on the rocks which made her automatically choose our friend, but that got me thinking: if it were me who was sick, I wonder...would -she- have chosen me over the guy?

I wish I could give that question a resounding yes, but...up to now, I still wonder about it. Up to now, I still sometimes ask myself: how important am I to her, really?

Well, she's the only one who could answer that question, and it's not like I'm ever going to ask her that. I'll just let things pass by for now, and see what happens. No matter what, she'll always be my friend.

Does it make me hypocritical to doubt the...strength of our friendship? Or just...I don't know...normal?

*sigh* I think this is one of the reasons why my best friends don't stay very long as my best friends (I've lost two already); I have so much doubt in me. So much distrust on people.

I wish I could trust people more...

Right now, she's got a new boyfriend (one she accepted because she felt SORRY for him, not because she loved him, despite my protests and such). I hope he's not like all the others...but I'm not hoping much. She's got a tendency to hook up with the wrong kind of men.

Mood: Weary (about life in general)
Music: Ngayon at Kailanman, Sharon Cuneta
 


Posted by apple-chan at 1:06 AM JST
Thursday, 18 March 2004
Back to Green Mode.

Well, I hope everyone likes the new background...because I certainly do. Yesyesyes...green little me.^_^

I've updated the links to my blog...added one new link to the Suikoden Comment Box where I recently began participating. I'm Sanae Yamamoto from Suikoden III, daughter of Yoshino and Freed Yamamoto from Suikoden II. Hehehe. I love the formal way she speaks. Lots of embellishments. So cool. So me.^_^

I've passed my MA requirements earlier this afternoon. I hope I'll get in *crosses fingers hopefully*. To everyone who are reading this, pray for me...whatever kind of prayer you happen to live by. I'm not very picky.

I'll be updating as soon as I get myself back on the writing track. My brain refuses to write. Bits and pieces come out of mind everytime I sleep, but when I am in front of the computer or in front of a piece of paper and armed with a pen, everything just seems to disappear.

So yeah...pray for that, too. Pray that my writing mood comes back, so I can write those damn fics.

God, this -so- reminds me of that time exactly one year ago, when I was writing my thesis. Ahh, that was one hell of a time...

Till next.

Current Mood: Bored out of my freakin mind.
Current Music: Grandia Xtreme BGM (I am in love with Titto and Jaid)

Posted by apple-chan at 4:39 PM WST
Wednesday, 10 March 2004
More and More Quizzes


Green Goddess
Goddess of green. You probably prefer to be outside
where you can get some fresh air!

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla


Didn't have to guess. Knew I was green. I'm always green...even when I'm black or blue. Heh.


Luc
Congratulations! You're attracted to Luc, the owner
of the True Wind Rune. He's witty and
sarcastic, but he also craves power and is not
so nice to those standing in the way of his
goal. He's probably given his actions a lot of
thought and is probably not interested in
dating right now, but become one of his well
trusted minions...and you'll be on your way.

What Suikoden III Male Are You Attracted To?
brought to you by Quizilla


No manipulation here. I did my best to get Sasarai, honest.


You're LUC! Don't deny your feelings, you're actually a good guy. Really!
Luc

Which Suikoden 3 Magician are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Again, no manipulation. I wanted to get Sasarai, but oh well. Guess Luc and I are meant to be.^_^


monkey
Your soul is bound to the Fifth Totem, Homid:
The Monkey
. Homid appears as a viridian monkey. He embodies
intelligence, potential, understanding, and
skill
. He is associated with the color
viridian, the season of spring, and the element
of fire. His downfall is pretentiousness. You are most compatible with Owls and Tortoises.

Which Animal Spirit Totem Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Never thought I'd be a monkey, but hey.


Red
Red Chii

Chobits - What Color Chii Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Er...this time, I'm red. I don't know what happened...


minorutest
You're Minoru.

What Chobits character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Minoru! Cool.^^ I'm a genius! I create custom persocons! Excellent.


bed
Your soul is bound to the Rose Bud: The
Naive. "I keep all of my secrets somewhere inside
and though I haven't let myself shine to the
world, I'm good for something but too good to
give to you."
The Rose Bud is associated with innocence,
curiosity, and confidence. It is governed by
the god Cupid and its sign is The Dewdrop, or
Puppy Love. As a Rose Bud, you may have grand ideas about love
and you may well be inexperienced. You tend to
be optimistic, idealistic, and curious, but
it's just because you like being a positive
person. You also may have high thoughts of
yourself, and can come off a bit conceited, but
it's just a mask to hide your lack of
experience.

What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla


I'm naive and innocent...hm. Cool.


You are a dreamer and it gives you a sense of happiness. You don't care what others think of you.
You're "Imaginary"...a dreamer and always
happy...

Which Evanescence song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Imaginary, huh...well, anything Evanescence works for me.^_^ Anything.

I saw more quizzes in that little page for Suikoden III. I'll take them next time.

Current Mood: Dreading (tomorrow, I don't know where I should head first)
Current Music: Chou (Butterfly, Fatal Frame II Theme Song)


Posted by apple-chan at 10:32 PM WST
Saturday, 6 March 2004
Stupid Me...and Quizzes.


I recently got a glimpse of that little testimonial I made for one of my friends. I was right. I was being a bit too paranoid.^^;;; Ah, well. I got an email about it from her (because I emailed her about how I felt bad about it, blah-blah), and I do believe she was...amused. And so was I.

Now I feel stupid.^_^ What the heck, I feel that way all the time, so it's no problem. I like being stupid.

As for those quizzes, here they are. And nope, no manipulating this time. I was honest.^_^ I swear.

Earth Goddess
You are the Goddess of Earth. You are very stable
and dependable since the Goddesses rest upon
you. You are very materialistic. Somtime cold
and distant, but that might be because you need
to get what needs to be done, done. But yet you
are everyone else's strength. You are the most
Stable of the Goddesses, since without you the
other Goddesses would not exist. Other Earth Goddesses: Ceres, Cerridwyn, Demeter,
Gaia, Persephone, Epona, Kore, Mah, Prithivi,
Rhea, Rhiannon

Which of the Four Elemental Goddesses are you?(With Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla


***
Just as thought. Taurus is an earth sign, so I pretty much expected this. Levelheaded and dependable is me...if and when I want to be, and...*sigh* when I'm forced to. Materialistic? I guess you can say that...I love buying things--books, CDs, video games and food, mostly. Cold and distant? Well...usually, but when the situation calls for emotion or something to that effect, I -do- turn down my walls. There's no point in wasting energy and feelings and emotions for worthless situations. Sometimes the best thing to do is ignore. So yeah, I guess this -is- me.

For the next one:

You're a Nympho
You are a Nympho, But you more than likely knew
that or you are in denial. One of the most
common demented states. But one of the best.^_^ Hehe.

~~WHat kind of Demented are you?~~(W/Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla


***
I always knew I had perversions, but I never thought I'd be classified under "nympho" totally. I mean, I'm not -that- perverted. Am I?

Hm. Well...anyway, here's the next one:

Muse
What Mythical Creature are You?(W/pics)

brought to you by Quizilla


***
Muses? Lover of all things fun and wonderful...art, music, literature, stuff--me? Hm. I'll have to think about this...

Here's the next one:

If an Electric Dragon flies by your house, all the electic appliences over surge and your TV flickers...
You're an Electric Dragon! Well, Well, Well, Speedy!
Electic dragons are just so darn quick, which
means you must be quick at something. Whether
it's running, swimming, or answering questions,
you are super speedy. But of course, you have a
craziness for video games or computers. You can
play amazingly well at any game or at least try to.
Go you!

What elemental dragon are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


***
Electric dragon...cool. Hehe, me and computers...and the speed in answering questions...yeah, that's me.:) As long as the questions are in grammar, spelling, algebra, biology or European and Japanese history....hehehe.:)

And now, the next:

Angel
You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla


***
I'm Angelic. Heh. Who would have ever believed it? Most people think I'm bad (even -I- do) but I can say this much: I'm nicer than most people. Just ask my parents.

Next:

Unicorns are pure....
You're a Unicorn! Unicorns are pure, innocent,
magestic creatures that have a spiraling white
horn growing out of their forehead, and a white
graceful, horse's body. Unicorns represent the
sign of purity, innocence, friendship, healing,
rejuvenation, and truth. Your horn is a rare
prize, but you tend to be naive, lured by a
child's cry. Unicorns are rare, beautiful and
shy mythical creatures, and you are lucky to be
one.

What Mythical Beast are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


***
I was really hoping I'd be a phoenix, but well...unicorn...wow. I like Unicorns too...not because they remind me of Sweet Valley Twins and Jessica Wakefield--HELL, NO--but because unicorns are magical horses, and they're so CUTE! Too pretty. In Heroes of Might and Magic, these creatures can blind enemies, which is cool. unicorns are as cool as phoenix, I guess.

While we're on the subject of Unicorns, here's a quiz about them:

Unicorn
You're a playful unicorn! Wow, you must like games
very much. All playful unicorns live near
oceans or lakes and are all open to humans and
other creatures. Playful unicorns tend to like
to play a lot with any human or animal, but
quite frankly, most of the time, that's all they
do. Playful unicorns are very nice and kind,
and always like to help. Sometimes they tend to
be lazy, but who isnt? Playful unicorns
horns, if drank from, can detect poison and
turn green. All playful unicorns, unlike other
unicorns, know the human speech very well, and
always seem to stay in the phase of a child.

What kind of Unicorn are you? (With beautiful pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla


***
I don't know what the hell the second to the last statement means, but anyway...I suppose I should be glad I'm a playful unicorn. At least I like to have fun, and I live in fun places.^_^

Finally, the last one:

HASH(0x8a45258)
You're a goddess! Forget angels, its all about you.
Angels serve gods, right? So why not be a
goddess? Hold on there, girl, and easy with the
fame. A Goddess is absolutely the most
beautiful, powerful, and magic being alive
there is, but they can tend to be quite
obnoxious. Some goddesses go a little too far
with their power, and turn greedy and shallow.
Good ones are pure and full of life, and if on
earth, flowers sprout at their steps. Others
decide to live in a palace in heaven, with
such beauty never known. They are very kind and
good leaders, but can tend to be a little lazy,
jealous, greedy, and obnoxious.

What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only) This Quiz has amazingly Beautiful Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla


***
Yes, I -am- a goddess.^_^ I think goddesses being referred here are the mythological ones, though. In that respect, Angels are better than goddesses, because in mythology, some (or most) goddesses are like humans with petty desires, needs, and wants--the only difference is that they have power, humans don't. They're immortal and humans aren't. I'd like to be half-nice and half-bad, though.^^ I guess this is alright. Although being a Dark Angel wouldn't be so bad, either...

That's it for this entry. Till next.

Current Mood: Still feeling stupid...and tired.
Current Music: Out of the Rain by...who?


Posted by apple-chan at 2:17 AM WST
Tuesday, 2 March 2004
Ren.

I got most of these from another blog.^_^ Hehehe...wanted to take quizzes, so I did. I took a couple of SK quizzes, and here's the first one:

ren
Tao Ren- A shaman from China, son of the mysterious
En Tao. He wants to become shaman king and
change the world. His famiy has a bloody past.
His spirit is Bason.

Which Shaman King character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


***
Hm. I wanted to get either Lyserg or Hao here...but obviously I'm a Tao Ren at heart, so...well. I'm not complaining, though. I love Ren. And here's another one:

HASH(0x876f3c8)
Ren Tao - Ren has a dark past and doesn't open up
to people easily. He can seem a bit cold at
times, and has a dry sense of humor, so try to
get him to lighten up some and you two will be
very close. It'll be a challenge, but he's so
cute that I'm sure you're up for it, right?

Which Shaman King Guy is Your Match?
brought to you by Quizilla


***
Yes, indeed. Still Ren. Maybe he and I are destined to be together. Either that or I manipulated the answers. Yeah, probably the latter.^_^ Who cares? I love him. I would have liked to get Lyserg or Hao, too, though.*sighs* Anyway, here's the third:

ren
Ren: You seem mean, but you're really
misunderstood. We all know you have a good
heart inside! You claim to drink 3 milks a day,
and your spirit is Bason. Although you're the
rival figure, you're still good friends with
Yoh. And your attitude makes you look kakkoi!

Which Shaman King Character are you? *FINISHED*
brought to you by Quizilla


***
Undoubtedly still Ren. Maybe this is fate...or manipulation.^^;;; What the heck, it's still fun. Here's the fourth:

HASH(0x88d4a1c)
O_O OMG COOL! You got Tao Ren's image song, Ryuuro!
It's pretty angsty, but COOL. VERY cool! ^-^

Which Shaman King Song Are You? o_O
brought to you by Quizilla


***
Ren's song, Ryuuro. Hehe. I totally love that. Paku Romi sings so WELL as Ren..child-like with a touch of brashness and spunk, just the way I prefer it.^^ I remember screaming omigod a million times the first time I heard this song...with the insert version (of Ren talking^^). Love the way he speaks.

Here's the last one. It's about flavor, though, and not SK. Thought it might be fun to try it out:

What Flavour Are You? Cor blimey, I taste like Tea.Cor blimey, I taste like Tea.

I am a subtle flavour, quiet and polite, gentle, almost ambient. My presence in crowds will often go unnoticed. Best not to spill me on your clothes though, I can leave a nasty stain. What Flavour Are You?


***
I'm Tea.^_^ Excellent. Something I like, at least. I wouldn't want to be sweet, spicy, or salty, no sir. Those three are too much for cute little old me. Now, TEA...that's good. Very good. So Japanese. So me.^_^

Gotta go now. Till next.

Current Mood: Bored (so HOT here)
Current Music: Pamela 1-2-3 (better that than 8-8--I absolutely *REFUSE* to spell it out).


Posted by apple-chan at 4:20 PM WST
Updated: Tuesday, 2 March 2004 10:04 PM WST
Monday, 1 March 2004
Dante and Weirdness (Insanity).

Here's how I fared in the Inferno Test:

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

***

My first result was Level 3: Gluttonous, but I think I just didn't read some of the questions right...oh wait, there's "High" on "Gluttonous" right there.^_^ Hehehe. I -am- gluttonous. Cool.

Here's another test I took:

DisorderRating
Paranoid:Low
Schizoid:Low
Schizotypal:Low
Antisocial:Low
Borderline:Low
Histrionic:Low
Narcissistic:Low
Avoidant:Low
Dependent:Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:Low

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --


***

Disappointing results. I seem to be normal.*frowns* I don't like normal. I'm supposed to be weird. Oh well...

Posted by apple-chan at 11:23 PM WST
Updated: Monday, 1 March 2004 11:30 PM WST
All News is Good News.

This isn't a passel of good news for your disposal. Just two, actually--a worldwide news, and a personal news.

The first one, the worldwide news, is this: Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King won Best Picture in the Academy Awards, and a flurry of other awards besides--including Best Adapted Screenplay and, hurrah--Best Director. All of the awards for them are, I think, very well-deserved...mostly because I'm a very biased Rings fan, but a lot still goes to the entire movie and everything and everyone involved in it. The trilogy was truly a masterpiece, and I'm sure even J.R.R. would have thought so, as well.

Having said that, I just realized that I have a handful of movies on queue to watch, the primary one being Finding Nemo, which, loser that I am, even though we have it on DVD, I still haven't watched.>_< Yes, I am a loser. But at least, I am a smart loser, if only on vocabulary and grammar and French and English History and Special Products and Electron Mnemonics.

The personal news, being personal, has something to do with me (of course). For the past months, I've constantly agonized over the Level 3 Japanese Proficiency Exam and how despite the fact that I've worked so hard and studied so much, I knew deep inside my heart of hearts that I wouldn't pass. But you know what? I just got a call from my Sensei earlier this afternoon (while watching the Academy Awards), and up to now, I *still* can't believe that I actually passed. I mean, sure, it may be a measly 63 or 64 percent, but by heck, how many people can say that they've passed that exam by studying in just, oh, less than six months? Needless to say, I'm proud. I still can't believe it, and for the past couple of minutes I've been slapping and pinching myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming and I really did pass...and I'm not dreaming. I really passed. And it feels good to know that.

Sad news, though, is that among the seven of us who took the test, two didn't pass, and one of them is my very good friend. I think she might have been expecting it, but still...I don't know how to tell her about it. I'll have to rehearse. It's such a shame--she only needed ten percent to pass, or so Sensei said.

Anyhow...moving on. I did say early this morning that I was going to give a review of Final Fantasy X's ending and final boss battles. So I'll be doing that now.

Well...I wonder if I can consider Omega Weapon as one of the final bosses of this game. He is an optional boss, but well...my fight with him didn't really go on that long (as I cheated Anima's stats so that his damage was 99,999 of which Omega's HP is twice the number of, I think), but I knew if I had allowed it to go on so long, I would've died in a VERY bad way. I know Omega, and I know Light Pillar and his other attacks, so I was kinda scared to let the fight go on long. So I knew I had to dispose of him quickly--and I did.^^ Level 4 Key Spheres (6) are nice rewards for beating him--just what I needed to finally let Lulu learn Ultima.

And then, for the Final Battles inside Sin's City:

The first one is the ever-enduring Seymour (whom I now really hate). Still ever-annoying, so I had to dispose off of him quickly. He wasn't that hard to kill (because of my cheated Anima stats)--only took a hit, really. I didn't like him, so it wasn't like I was sad when he died. I wasn't.

Before the second battle, there was that little mini-game where you had to collect ten treasures from this weird Macalania Woods-like place, and while trying to collect the treasures (which come in balls of light) you had to evade these ice stalactites (or stalagmites?) because if you bump into them, it's fight time. Anyway, first time I played this I got the game over (was petrified--yeah, how stupid of me). Second time I played I got it all done but the player hanged up on me. Third time's the charm. Third time, everything all worked out nicely--and this time, I didn't cheat at all.

Anyway, yes...after that ball collecting, I was transported to the "Zanarkand that never sleeps," where the ultimately cool Jecht was waiting--to fight Tidus and everyone else, I suppose. Here is where I went into waterworks.;_; "Braska's Final Aeon," Jecht, that is--wasn't so hard to kill, even with his two forms. He didn't give status attacks, and you can actually finish him off real quickly. And plus, you can actually lower his Overdrive gauge and attack by making Tidus talk.;_; Poor Jecht. Anyway, in the end, he died, and just as he was falling to the ground...Tidus catches him.;_; Me and my sister were going into major waterworks here. I totally love Jecht, and it was sad how Tidus only finally accepted him when he died. And still, the only thing Tidus can tell him is "I hate you, dad." But for what it's worth, he did tell Jecht that: "for the first time, I'm proud to have you as my father.";_; So sad.

The second to the last fight (series of fights, really) was an emotional turmoil for Yuna, because it involved having to fight and kill all of the Aeons. The sad thing about this was when you're fighting the nice Aeons who are big on reaction, because when you put the cursor on them, they say various things, like "please kill me," "soon it will be over," and such. It was sad, but...just sad, mainly. But pretty easy, considering you had Yuna and her Holy and Lulu and her Ultima (and Auron, Wakka, and Kimahri, whose damage were a never-fail 9999 in my game--no cheats!) were in a win-win situation, as you were all in perpetual AUTO-LIFE status, meaning, no one can die, like, ever.

The final battle was with the man himself, Yu Yevon the immortal. Honestly, Yunalesca was harder than him...all you had to do was give him one of Auron's Zombie attacks, then finish him off with a Phoenix Down, or if you want--just hit him and hit him and let him Curaga himself to death.^_^ And then, here's where the ending plays, and the ending video.

I wasn't too partial with Yuna, so much of the love ending between her and Tidus didn't impress me much (the video was great, though). My favorite part was when Tidus finally jumped into the abyss under the old Zanarkand and we see Braska (who's very HANDSOME) and Auron (HANDSOME, what can I say? I LOVE him), and then, Tidus high-fiving Jecht (ahhh...I really LOVE him to pieces, I SWEAR to GOD), which is one of the coolest scenes in this game. Finally, the two of them have resolved their differences and now...they were Father and Son, in the ultimate sense. They understood each other. That's the coolest bit of this game--the relationship between Tidus and Jecht (and the second coolest is the Braska-Auron-Jecht relationship. Kinda reminds me of Laguna, Kiros, and Ward in FFVIII).

The final ending was a speech from Yuna, in which she tells everyone in Spira "never forget the dreams..." undoubtedly, she was talking about her dear love, Tidus. After the credits, a little Tidus scene plays. Of course, we know he's still alive.^_^ Not that I particularly care.

All in all, the ending was pretty good...the Tidus-Jecht-Auron-Braska parts, at least. Those are my favorite scenes. And oh yeah, I remember Auron patting Kimahri just before he (Auron) was sent. I think that was sweet.^_^

For my part, I wish X-2 wasn't about Yuna and her search for Tidus, but rather, a prequel of sorts, about Jecht, Braska, and Auron and their pilgrimage. Sort of like the Laguna Dream Sequences in FFVIII. But that's just me.

To end this, today's been a...pretty interesting day. It's quite hot, though. But interesting nevertheless.

Current Mood: Curious (I wanna see my Level 3 score sheet and the certificate)
Current Music: Into The West (Annie Lennox, 2004 Academy Awards Best Song, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King)

Posted by apple-chan at 3:43 PM WST
Gotterdammerung.

Translated, this word means something like, "great tragedy." I'm using this word partly in honor of the Super Ferry IV that burned and sank (half-sank, really) just recently, and partly in honor of my learning a new English word. Gotterdammerung is actually German, adopted into the English language, like many others before and after it. I got this from a book which is increasingly becoming one of my favorites, called "How to Build A Better Vocabulary." Yes, yes, I know, I -am- a geek (self-confessed), but the book is very interesting. I never even knew that "mesmerize" actually came from a person's name (someone named Mesmer, I believe) until I read it. And there are tons of othe really interesting words besides. I can certainly use more words, since I plan never to stop writing no matter where life takes me. Writing stimulates my brain, and my brain could always use more stimulating.

So, what else...ah. Yesterday was February 29, a leap year--and Omi's 24th birthday, to boot.^^ It gives me pleasure to know that at least, as I grow, all my favorite anime characters grow with me. Most of them, at least. Ren's now 18, and Pilica just turned 17 some weeks ago, and tomorrow, Jeanne's going to be...14. In May, Yoh and Hao will be turning 19, and Lyserg will be 18 just like Ren. Good to know that everyone's maturing, at least, technically.

Speaking of Omi (first), I haven't done much writing for several months on A Few Good Men, and I really want to. Although I know now that it's Mary Sue-ish (according to Nitpicker's definition of Mary Sue and that on Writers' University), I don't plan on giving it up. I've got something good mapped up, I know I do. Lots of people have told me so as well. And something good is not worth giving up for, just because it's...Mary-Sue-ish. And besides, nobody actually cares. My readers like it, in spite of the existence of Futora (or maybe because of it...she's quite a character). So yeah. I plan on finishing Chapter 6 sometime soon...maybe at the end of Navy and Azure and the subsequent side stories. Which means, sometime in April. Maybe.

Speaking of Ren and Pilica (second), I've finished the Epilogue for Navy and Azure some weeks ago, and although I do think there might still be a couple of kinks here and there, and some weird stuff someplace, I believe it's already along the lines of...good, and worth posting. And I -will- be posting it...soon. Right now, my goal is March 2--Jeanne's birthday, which means, I need to finish up the two lemon side fics I promised by...late tomorrow. And I will try to finish them. The main thing is I won't be posting the Epilogue unless I finish the lemon side fics. And since I haven't posted for a month (the longest for me...in SK, at least), I have to do that soon. And rest assured, I -will- try.

Speaking of Jeanne (third) there's something weird cooking up in my brain...some new stuff for LXJ (and a bit of LXS, too--honeymoon scene^~). It details preparations for their wedding, and some lemonish side scenes during their dates. Honestly, I don't know what it is with the two of them. I've never been -this- obsessed with any pairing before. Anyway, these scenes might go in with Prelude to Destiny, so they're not gonna be useless. At least, if I get to write them. As for the LXS honeymoon scene--I might add this up to my list of SK smut side fics, something new for Reen, to make up for the lateness of the one she requested.

Speaking of Reen, that gets me to thinking about...a little testimonial I wrote for someone, which I don't mean in an offensive way, but sadly might have come out offensive. I'm not sure. While I was writing that, I was just thinking that, she knows my humor, and she knows how crude and sick we can get with each other, so she wasn't going to take it seriously...at least, I hoped. I carelessly sent the file, without even reviewing what cruel content I might have managed to concoct somewhere in my hastiness. Hopefully she isn't going to hate me for what I wrote--because I meant it all as a nice, friendly joke. But I do know, sometimes I can be cruel and tactless...I certainly hope -that- wasn't one of those tactless times.

For the record, it's not Reen, but someone we both know. Will not go into detail with the name here.

Speaking of that, something someone in a mailing list kinda made me think: a little dare about an AU SK Prom fic. My mind has been whipping up something of that sorts for everyone for a week, and maybe I can get it written up sometime, hopefully this week.

Tomorrow, I'll be writing another entry--a review for the ending of Final Fantasy X, which I finally saw early Sunday morning (around 1:30 am). A review of sorts for the ending, as well as the boss fights before it. Yeah. For tomorrow.

Current Mood: Excited (The Academy Awards is airing tomorrow morning, 10am. Or later this morning, rather).
Current Music: I Love You More Today Than Yesterday (but not as much as tomorrow...? Forgot the title. Is that it?).


Posted by apple-chan at 12:51 AM WST
Updated: Monday, 1 March 2004 3:47 PM WST
Friday, 20 February 2004
Sucks.

There's a problem with my PC at home...something quite major when it comes to me. For some reason, it refuses to check my emails and refuses to let me upload or fill out forms. I don't know why. But the thing is, I CAN SURF. I mean it.

Sometimes, when it gets temperamental (semi-nice), it lets me do my uploading and emailing. But mostly, it just sits there and goes into error mode whenever I check my email. I've checked my PC all throughout and I know it's not the OS's problem. It might be the modem, although I don't know how the hell that could possibly be. I mean, I can surf, I can read stories and such. How can it be the modem?

I think I'd better ask my brother about this.

Yeah.

Meanwhile...I'm giving myself until sometime next week to finish Distractions and Disturbances and What Detectives Do After A Case. I'm itching to post the Navy Epilogue. I don't know if I've polished it to it's finest, but I'm getting tired of seeing it unposted. It's been done for a whole week now.

Anyway, it's there. So I'll just have to motivate myself in writing those lemons. Thing is, everytime I try to work on them, I end up working on something else. Like last night. I got the Hao-seduces-Jeanne sex scene written up (I've written the Lyserg-seduces-Jeanne sex scene already, last week I think). I'm not posting it here. I'm waiting until I finish the next few parts of seduction. It's going to be so much fun.^^

Current Mood: Nervous (Sae Kurosawa creeps me out...and those Kiryu twins *shudder*)
Current Music: Fatal Frame II Theme (when you save)

Posted by apple-chan at 12:05 PM WST

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